The Worlds Six Rarest Poms
with commentary by Focsle Jack Tanner

6. The Toy Pom
"A misnomer, actually. We may be a toy breed, but we're never toys. Some are just more fun than others."

5. The Pom-Pom Pom
"These guys see a lot of action, believe me. Theyre tough and resistant to motion sickness, but often suffer from fly-away guard hairs."

4. The Lavender Pom
"A true Lavender Pom has a distinctive purplish glow. Think Chernobyl."

3. The Teacup Pom
"This is what some people call Poms that are smaller than normal. The names a little frou-frou, if you ask me. Why teacup? Why not athletic cup?"

2. The Teaball Pom
"Even smaller than the Teacup Pom is the Teaball Pom. ... Okay, now I see why they didnt go with athletic cup."

1. The Chocolate Pom
"The Chocolate Poms the rarest of all. Its known for its metallic coat, bell-shaped bottom, and the tendency to go soft when held for a long time. Ew."